Gone are the times when
monogamy was the cherished norm, now with booty buddies and instant gratification, at least a safe
sexual partner who is not ‘carrier’ is what everyone should be looking for.
People are sexual beings and sex represents a
motivational factor in our lives. Going beyond the short term satisfaction
sex brings, there is the much more important aspiration for a deep
relationship.
Ideally
physical attraction should be the sole sufficient condition to
copulate without restraints. But in the current scenario one also have to think about the consequences: the risk of a
pregnancy and of contacting a STD. "He/she does not seem like the type who might come up with unpleasant surprises" is an apology and not a valid justification.
Situations that could have people diving into bed without really thinking could vary – from one-night-stands that hold the supremacy regarding
sexual spontaneity and energy; a weekend getaway is exactly what some lovers maybe thrilled with or even a few extra drinks; a much too longer period of abstinence or the need to start a new
relationship.
Two partners who have not known each other for a long time are very drawn to each other and want to have
sex. The problem concerning "with/without a condom" should not be brought into discussion; the arguments against using protection are very weak.
They cannot give their partner the maximum of trust based on "she/he has
beautiful eyes", "she/he does not seem the kind of person who carries diseases", if the partner has a similar background, shares the same circle of
friends, or seems intelligent. These are not relative. Important is the
fact that the person in your sack can bring about "unimaginable unhappiness" to carry you through hospitals for a long time. From this point of view we consider the perspective of using a
condom to be more lightening.
On the subconscious level, our reactions are further influenced: desire - smelling a nice perfume;
repulsion - towards a pair of fake breasts and lip implants looking like bee stings; excitation - a distant memory of a first love stirred up by the nape of a person sitting in your front; lack of interest - a curious invisibility that excludes those who do not match your
criteria regarding a
sexual reaction.
Some of these influences are instinctive, genetic or even irrational (a pair of naughty breasts almost instantly cheers up men, while athletic,
beautiful men make women's hearts pump real fast).
Therefore, take out time before the actual
intercourse to talk and set up your boundaries, consider the whole sphere of physical and emotional consequences that result from a sexual
relationship and put the conversation in those contexts. Consider that STDs are outcomes hard to discuss and resolve – do not base your discussion on the fact that you will be able to observe a sign of disease because most of them have no visible
symptoms.
An open talk regarding this issue is a proof of
cautiousness, sensitivity and respect for oneself and your partner. It is much easier than it sounds. Plus, you will be more relaxed after all risks are being set aside. It’s your
body and your life, after all, you cannot throw it all away for only a few moments
